Insecurity and flying insects.

So who else was besotted with the Royal wedding of Prince Harry and Megan Markle, and equally how stunningly beautiful is Megan Markle?! She took my breath away in that second dress for the reception (personal opinion on the first dress will remain personal .. but let’s face it, she’d have looked amazing in a dress from Primarni.)

But this leads me into thinking about insecurities and in particular, feeling insecure about fashion choices and the way I look and my abilities within fashion styling and even to post on this blog. Yeah, I’ll admit, it totally stopped me for a while.

Let’s face it, Instagram (although totally my absolute favourite of all the many social media platforms… I’ll stress that here and now!) Can be a bit of a influencer in itself into making us think…

Oh god I wish I looked like that. Where do they get all that money from? How are they always looking so put together and perfect? Why didn’t I think of that?! Why can’t I be that confident?! What is wrong with me?

And thats just the start. But the matter of fact is, these insecurities are all just comparison to other people, other peoples lives and looks and that’s so unrealistic to compare your whole self to someone’s snapshots. You are you and I am me. And these moments posted on social media are exactly that, moments. Which leads me nicely on to green fly insects.

90% of the time, I don’t look like my blog photos. In fact, I find it hard to be a put together person. Despite working within the fashion industry, my own personal style is not put together. And as a matter of fact I pride myself on having an element of looking a little bit scruffy...It’s rock and roll, right?

My converse are dirty. I sometimes forget to put earrings on. My dad used to constantly tell me to pull my jackets back onto my shoulders as when they fall back they look slovenly. I don’t wear lipstick or eyeliner or make up every single day. I love my pyjamas.

I even spend much of my time taking photos like this, with no make up on, after 3 mile runs to my boyfriend when greenflys decide to fly into my eye and my eye hurt so much I had to walk home early, a sweaty mess, a mile short and irritated by my fly ridden eye.

But the point of my post is that insecurities or insect issues, these little pieces of annoyance are completely temporary. They’ll always be another run, and another Instagram post, but I’ll not get swept away with it. I’ll probably never look as put together as someone else, but that’s who I am, they are them, and I’m still me. And it’s ok to be me. Infact its pretty great. And to be md is to look a little slovenly. It’s all rock and roll. I’ll make it to 4 miles next time green fly free, and on my last Insta scroll, the put together person just liked my post. Hurrah! So don’t be too hard on yourself. And I’ll not be too hard on me.

For the love of dots and birkenstocks

Hello again you, my old friend.

Welcome back to my own little splash of space on the inter-web, now entitled Memoirs of my clothes, because that is essentially where this all started. So welcome back, take a seat, grab a coffee and relax in this beautiful park with me.

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Oh hey there, you caught me, I’m just relaxing among the blossom as per in my dots and docs. In all seriousness, I quite like this paired back outfit for the sunny days we are seeing! (Please sun, don’t go anywhere, you give me so much joy!)

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The Birks are a super new purchase, and I actually took them on my holibobs with me. Going to post a review on them soon because I’ve got some stuff to say about them!

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Lipstick is Topshop Infared which is totally an old fave… That lipstick is in bits, but I’m a sucker for the orange tone on me in the summer. Total summer baby right here! The colour of the lipstick kinda looks cool with the Lobster bag and my painted nails which to be honest was totally unintentional.

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Obviously the key to this look is the jumpsuit, which is new in from Monki. I loved it from the moment I saw it drop onto the website because It screamed easy to wear to me and comfortable, which is basically the key to all my outfits! Here I popped it over a white tee with a dinosaur on it (hidden unfort!) but I’ve worn the monochrome dots with a few different colours and it works so well! The Jumpsuit is described as denim on the website, but its such a light denim, its practically perfect for the British summertime. (Did anyone else think of Mary Poppins there?)

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So I’m actually quite loving my hair at the moment, (more on that later-such a revelation!) even when its super messy. I am also quite enjoying the strangeness of these sunglasses, (why do I find sunglasses so much cooler than glasses?) and as a note, I don’t ever buy expensive sunglasses as I basically always sit on them/break them/ drop them/ loose them. Is anyone else with me?

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Key style Notes In this outfit:

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Thanks for stopping by! x

My feelings on “Summer” and “Winter” dressing

So I’m actually writing this, waiting for a bus, standing in the snow, and inspiration just struck me on how I honestly feel about “winter dressing” right now, in the new year of 2018. So it’s Janurary and it’s snowing, and I love snow. I have loved “winter dressing I.e all the good stuff of layering, wrapping up, hats, scarves, the lot for years. Seriously bring all the layers on, the turtleneck, the denim, the shirt as a jacket, the coat, tights, hats and big chunky knit scarves. For years I’ve always been more comfortable in my style and the whole winter vibes. The aesthetics of it all pleases me greatly.

Proof of standing in a bus stop in the midst of a snowfall.

But right now, standing in the snow, I’ve completely lost my love of dressing for winter, and I really want my summer garms.

Now I’m not saying I’ll feel like this forever, or even until tomorrow, but right now I’m hella bored of my winter wardrobe, the cold, and my frozen hands.

It doesn’t help that this year was the year I felt most confident in my summer wardrobe.

Some personal highlights here:

I felt my style evolve into something a little more laid back, minimalist but adventurous.

My favourite outfit of 2017 was without a doubt my pink jumpsuit I wore on my 29th birthday in Thailand. I felt completely confident and it was such a simple piece, just a jumpsuit but full of pattern and flavour, personality without being too complex. I also ADORE those tie up sandles from Matalan that I pretty much wore every day on holiday. I hope they bring them back this year because I destroyed them!

Biggest fashion regret of 2017 was that I didn’t get that striped jumpsuit that, looking back, was pretty bloody awesome.

So the snow is getting even heavier now and I’m going to rethink my wardrobe. Here’s to me injecting a slice of summer into my winter wardrobe, and just maybe I’ll get my flavour back.

Peace.

And just in case you didn’t believe that I’m out in the snow.. here I am on my way home

Hello, are you still here?

..if you are you deserve a post Christmas Chocolate coin! And a thank you, AND a well deserved pat on the back from me! 

But seriously, I appreciate all the interaction I get on here, the comments and the likes, because it’s so nice to have people listen. I think the value of listening is underappreciated in these busy hustle and bustle times, especially during the festive season.

Oh Christmas Tree, first Christmas tree, featuring ripped jeans and a knee…

For me, the festive season brings highs and lows, and even as I write this, I feel like some would be hearing me say that in that ” Ross from Friends voice ”  and potentially think im being a bit of a “downer”(although I certainly don’t agree with that, I’ve had ‘friends’ that would say that to Me in the past.) But there are down points to the festive season, and for some people it’s  really not festive at all.  I’m not saying I’m counted in the non festive feeling all the time, but there certainly have been those moments. One thing I saw that I really loved over Christmas, was a message from Davina McCall about loneliness, and that shone out to me as a beautiful message during all the festivities. Check that out here: Davina Christmas message

 On the flip side, 2017 was a pretty epic year for me. 

In a smallest of small summaries, I met my partner Ben, and moved into a beautiful flat. Just before that, we traveled to Thailand for our first ever holiday which was incredible, and we saw elephants on my 29th birthday. We had the most incredible time, and you can read about it here: We went to Thailand blog post.  

Brb I’m going back to Thailand… 

I’ve also had a wee bit winge on about my hair on here sooo many times, but when you’re conscious of something it can sometimes take over..  But recently I’ve been doing quite well at embracing the pixie and cracking on with growing it out. (I’ll keep you updated, of course.)

I guess one big thing (to me at least) that might interest you, if indeed you are “still here reading” is that I’ve purchased a new computer. Basically my Mac died after years of not being used for its purpose (I purchased it to do YouTube and blogging and I literally watched viral videos of cats for 5 years with it!) So this computer is going to be fit for purchase. So if you want, when I make my YouTube debut, feel free to say ( a nice please!) Hello to little old me. 

I hope you’ve had the greatest feative season and I wish you the happiest of New year’s. Bring on 2018 and an abundance of inspiration. I’m feeling it.

Four things I’m doing following my last post…

So my last post was caught on a total down day with the hair, but hey, life happens and why not document the good and the bad.

Truth be told my own insecurities around the old barnet have been stopping me doing these things, these important to me things, like going on YouTube, and wearing funky indie style clothes and going out full of confidence like I used to.

If I could scroll back to a time when I last wore a wig or had my hair extensions, or even when I first got my fresh new pixie cut you’d see my confidence in full force. But I think the lack of change with the pixie cut (I like to mix it up!) has affected me more than I’d like to admit and as I said in my equally wordy last post, as much as I’d like to be all, this is me and I love my hair and I’m so confident and happy all the time with a pixie and I never get cold ears the real truth is that yeah the pixie cut is awesome and there are days I will be rocking it and truly loving it, but sometimes I just want longer hair, or at least have a little variation to my look.

So I’ve decided on 4 things to do that might make me feel a little bit more confident while I’m growing the pixie out. I’m sorry pixie cut but it’s just not working out and although I love You, it’s time we parted.

1. I’m going to enjoy the pixie cut whilst I have it and look on the bright side

Although I won’t always have my pixie cut in full force, (more on this later) there will be days I will enjoy my pixie cut and indeed the many awkward stages growing it out, including the mushroom and the stage I’m currently in,  “the awkward back fringe as my boyfriend calls it. I’m going to enjoy when I have the pixie cut feels. 

2. I’m going to start growing my hair out.

This is pretty much self explanatory and encompasses looking after my hair more, washing it less, trying not to bleach the roots as regularly and basically letting it do it’s own thing. No more heat styling every bloody day.

3. Most excitingly I found and purchased a wig. 

Now wigs I’m assuming would not be an option for everybody growing out a pixie or just wanting a hair change. But why not? What is the difference really to extensions?! After what happened to my hair I won’t ever risk my hair health with extensions again so if I want the illusion of long hair I’m definitely mixing it up with a wig. I actually decided to go for a bob length as that is the current hair goals and I love the hair piece I got. Wearing it at 29 is different to wearing a wig when I was 19, but it so shouldn’t be! So with the help of my lovely boyfriend I braved the wig outside today and it was actually quite cool. And I felt confident. And it was good! 

4. I’m going to take care of myself more generally because hair isn’t everything.

Be it having a nice bubble bath or reading a good book, I’m going to rest a bit more because sometimes stress can make you stress more about things that are not as important. Things for me can really build up, and something larger that stresses me out can lead me to stress about everything and that ain’t good! So I’m making myself take times out to relax and refocus and think, there’s bigger things to worry about than me wearing a wig whilst my hair grows. I’ve actually started going regular yoga and have scheduled some runs in and I’m feeling pretty good about that! Self care for the win.

So that’s all I can think of right now and I’ll leave you with this lovely picture of my new hair (piece) whilst I chill out and practise what I preach.

Enjoy!